The Trojan Quandary
February 7, 2008‘Trojan Condoms’ – what a wonderful phrase! It means no pregnancy, (for the time being) when I have sex! (Ha ha… For a second there the Hakuna Matata tune popped into my head!)
Anyway, today at lunch speak k[no]w, see k[no]w, and I were talking about an upcoming paper that speak k[no]w has to write. I am not entirely sure what the exact assignment is, but she mentioned something about writing about Trojan condoms. I started to think about what I would write about the contraceptives…
When I remembered the ‘Pleasure Pack’ that I bought last summer for my fiancé and myself. I really (REALLY) like the Mint Tingle ones. So much so that I have since bought that same Pleasure Pack repeatedly, just so we can use those ones again. Well, after the third or fourth time shoveling out a hefty $13 for only two of my favorite condoms, I decided that it really wasn’t worth it.
I should just buy a package of Mint Tingle condoms! They sell individual boxes of Her Pleasure, Shared (warming sensations) Pleasure, and even Twisted Pleasure. (These ones are really cool. The part that goes on his head is twisted, so it gives him extra stimulation. More on these later.) “Of course,” I thought to myself. “I’ll just find a Mint Tingle package since we don’t really like the other ones. Hmmm……they don’t seem to have them here. Maybe everyone else really likes them, too, and they are just sold out! OK, I’ll come back later.”
I did go back later. They didn’t sell them. “No biggie,” I reassured myself. “That other store around the corner surely will!” ALAS! I found myself standing dumbfounded in the ‘family planning’ section of countless convenient stores, Walmarts, Targets, K-Marts, grocery stores, gas stations, and yes – even rest area bathrooms. No one, anywhere, sold my favorite condoms EXCEPT in the Pleasure Pack. To say the least, I wasn’t getting much pleasure from buying a whole twelve count Pleasure Pack just so I could have a little Tingle when I was doing the dirty.
My thoughts then turned elsewhere. The Internet for sure wouldn’t let me down! You can get anything on the internet! Ok, well folks – the old wives’ tale has been thwarted. You can NOT get a box of just Trojan Mint Tingle condoms on the internet.
So what do I do? I thought about sending a letter to Trojan, and calling them ridiculous for selling each kind of condom in the Pleasure Pack separately except for one. I may still do that; I’m not sure. To hold me and my hunny over until then, we’ve settled for the Tingling sensations KY personal lubricant. It isn’t quite the same, but it will do just fine until something else can be arranged. If any of you, beautiful blog readers, have ever heard of or seen a package of Mint Tingle Trojan condoms for sale – PLEASE send me a note!
Oh, right. I was supposed to go back to the Twisted Pleasure kind. Umm, they are ok, just not the best. I have been a little…..disappointed. (Sort of left hanging, if you catch my drift?) They aren’t the best. Use them for when you are just using your hand, makes things go a little quicker and provides for easier clean up. ‘Til next time, I can’t think of anything crafty to put here. G’nite!
